I used to think networking was dressing up, RSVP’ing to events, and talking to people with the ulterior motive of gain. The idea made me feel slimy, but the truth is that I was looking at it all wrong. Networking is one of the most valuable things you can do, but like anything else, there is a right way and a wrong way to do it.
The problem is that people often view it as a quick and easy way to reach success. This philosophy often leads to inauthentic relationships, and inauthentic relationships rarely lead to substantive partnerships. Many people have networking all wrong.
Effective networking, in my view, is two things:
- Becoming skilled at your craft, and attracting people along the way.
- Building trust with those people, and teaming up when it makes sense.
Essentially, if you build your skills and open yourself up to new experiences and opportunities that involve that skill, you will inevitably meet people. Then, because you’re skilled and credible, you’ll tend to form relationships with people striving for the same things you are.
Sometimes these conversations unfold over lunch or even just when you’re trying to figure out how to set up a website. But the point is, they happen, and they unfold organically.
I’ll give you an example, from my own experience.
An Unexpected Connection
One of the best connections I made came as a bit of a surprise.
I had been working with this guy (let’s call him Matt) for about a year. We were both in the same industry and, due to a merger between our companies, had been squeezed onto the same team. He and I had previously both worked solo.
At this point, I had been out of my previous agency life for a couple of years, and had grown accustomed to managing my own time and responsibilities, so I was a little apprehensive to work with someone.
Once I got to know Matt, I was pleasantly surprised to find out we had a lot of the same philosophies when it came to work. He had a disdain for office politics, traditional schedules, and daily commutes that rivaled mine, and he had also spent years honing his skills, trying to break free from corporate life. We had many venting sessions – and out of those venting sessions arose some great ideas for making money.
It was serendipitous – we were both in the same position on opposite sides of a merger, working remotely with semi-autonomy, looking for the next step towards complete financial independence. We also happened to be internet ninjas.
Long story short – we started working on projects together, and I think we both learned A LOT from one another. Not only that, but we established a few income streams that reduced our reliance on our employer (which was especially helpful when the entire company went under due to mismanagement).
In my experience, when people are trying to network, or are trying to make recommendations about how to network, they’re approaching it incorrectly. Here are some of the mistakes I see people making:
- Going to networking events (especially with nothing to contribute)
- Connecting with hundreds of random people on LinkedIn
Trying to be everyone’s friend